Motherhood at Christmas

Just "treasuring up all these things, pondering them in [my] heart."

I love being a mom. Lil' Eddie fills--to overflowing!--my heart with pure, sweet joy. I can sit and watch him for hours, stroking is soft cheeks, kissing his little forehead, delighting in his every expression. I knew I'd love my son, but...this...this powerful, joy-filled love must be divine. It simply must be. I think I have a more profound understanding of what the Bible means to say when it describes God's love for us like a mother's love and care for her child.

As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you...  Isaiah 66:12

And being that it's Christmastime, I keep thinking of Mary. A young, new mother, who was surely filled with the same joy that overflows my heart these days. I'm sure she absolutely marvelled, just stared in wonder, at her newborn Son--a helpless, precious, little baby boy, a glorious miracle. I'm sure she was awed, even more so than I am considering the experiences and events surrounding her baby's birth. No wonder she "pondered all these things in her heart"--Gabriel's visit and prophesy, Elisabeth's miraculous baby boy--prophesied to be her Son's forerunner, Joseph's dreams, the shepherd's unbelievable story of a sky full of angels, foreign kings coming thousands of miles to welcome her baby--the one who'd been born in a smelly, dirty stable! And on top of that, knowing, to some degree, that this precious little baby who filled her heart with such love and joy, was God's Promised One! He was the Word of God, made flesh! What could that even mean? Absolutely unfathomable! 

And this year, Jesus' miraculous birth takes on deeper meaning as I'm drawn into the same wonder Mary felt. I'm moved and stirred as I wonder over my sweet baby. And I find myself drawn into worship and completely awed by the same powerful, wonder-working God that Mary worshiped when she said,

My soul magnifies The Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior...for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name.  from Luke 1

Lil' Eddie Sauder

He's finally here! 

7lbs 9oz

20 inches

Happy Thanksgiving!

This year for Thanksgiving, with Silly Goose coming anytime, we couldn't travel to Magdalena to relive our engagement week and celebrate with all our friends there. It was so bittersweet to send off the group from Altadena without us, but we really did have a wonderful Thanksgiving with family here in L.A.!

Empty plates, and full stomachs!

Before Thanksgiving services at church on Wednesday night, we stopped by Little Tokyo in the afternoon for a fun date! We got the idea after a conversation about all the fun things we haven't "fit" in yet and should before Silly Goose's arrival. So now we have a list.  That's right.  And every day that our little bundle of joy puts off making his grand entrance is another day to enjoy doing something fun "just us". Hopefully having all this fun will help distract us from the mounting anticipation too!

Slurping my ramen (totally acceptable in Japanese culture, I'm told).

Jonathan's extended family and a few extra guests enjoyed a fantastic meal (see satisfied faces in the photo above) Thanksgiving Day.  There was turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, sweet potatoes, brussel sprouts, creamed onions, homemade caramel rolls, bread with homemade jam...WOW! Delicious!

Nathan enjoying his turkey leg! 

Beyond the amazing food, we enjoyed a glorious afternoon and evening of fun, laughter, singing, and great conversation!  And of course after we'd let the turkey settle a little...

PIE TIME! Mmm, nothing like pumpkin pie, whipped cream, and coffee! 

Overall, this Thanksgiving was perfectly wonderful! So much to be thankful for! As we sat watching the Hanukkah candles burn down the other night (Hanukkah began on Thanksgiving this year!) Jonathan and I counted our blessings--among so many other things, we're glad to have the job question answered and a healthy baby boy expected soon!

We stayed in Pasadena last night and spent a cloudy, rainy morning apartment hunting in Monrovia. It's so strange to think of leaving the Beach Cottage, but it will be so nice to have more room as we settle into a new normal once Jonathan starts his job. More change, here we come! 

We haven't found anything yet, FYI, this is just one of many we looked at.

In all the upcoming changes, there are so many emotions--everything from excitement to nerves. And lots and lots of unknown. Where will we live? Will we be moving with a one month old or a one week old? How will that go? And as we arrived back home at the beach after a few days away, I was struck by a kind of sadness. While I'm thrilled for the new and exciting days ahead, of course there's a hesitation to leave the familiar and comfortable.

We went for a walk along the beach this afternoon marvelling at the GIANT waves!

and talking through the mixed emotions of all the daunting changes ahead.

Good thing God is faithful! I remember thinking that as I packed up my things to move from Magdalena to California. Good thing He's still faithful!

News! News! News!

Finally! The job search is at an end! While it was a wonderful season of waiting and seeking out not only the different options, but also what God wanted for us, I'm glad the decision has been made. I don't think I can adequately describe those few weeks where God mightily revealed His power to open doors! He is the One who

"opens and no one will shut, who shuts and no one opens." Revelation 3:7 

At first, Jonathan only had offers in Portland and Central Illinois, and while they were wonderful jobs, with great people, in locations that we love for different reasons, and lots of things seemed to make sense about either of them, we began to see God point us in the direction of staying here in California. So began the test of faith as we waited and watched in awe as God opened up two miraculous opportunities in the LA area. First, Mattel, in the middle of a complete hiring freeze, contacted Jonathan about interviewing with them. And through some connections at USC, Jonathan found himself presenting his dissertation and interviewing at Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena. After much discussion, prayer, an extension on our decision time, more prayer and discussion...Jonathan accepted JPL's offer.

So much feels "right" about our staying here (although this does mean a move to the Pasadena area), and we're confident God still has plans for us to be used here in LA. We're especially thrilled to be a part of Altadena church for awhile longer. We were blessed during this whole process of decision making as the church faithfully prayed for us, encouraged us, listened to us, and gave us so much Godly advice. I think they were pretty thrilled with the final decision, too!

While it's a great load off our minds to have the job decision made, we're facing some big, big changes, kind of all at the same time, so keep those prayers coming. In the next few months we'll be transitioning from the Beach Cottage to somewhere nearer Jonathan's work (moving), from the academic scene to "real life" (starting the job), and from being just us to a family of three (parenthood).

Speaking of that last major transition...

abundantly blessed by another baby shower, we are now ready (as ready as we'll ever be!) for Silly Goose's imminent arrival into our lives!

Part of preparing for becoming a family of 3 included

becoming a family of 2 cars!

Yes, the car seat is now installed, and we're ready to roll!

Great story about our new-to-us Mazda 5, Jonathan went to look at it the very evening we were in the middle of making the final job decision. While we were pretty sure what we supposed to do, I was feeling rather doubtful and struggling with the weightiness and semi-permanance of the whole thing. As I went out for a walk, once again chatting with God about the whole thing, I also reminded Him how I'd been praying for Him to provide us with a car for months and how nice it'd be if this was it! Jonathan called not too long after I got home.

Jonathan: Guess what! I think we got our new car. And guess what!

Me: Great! What?

Jonathan: The guy works at JPL.

Me: No way! Seriously? No way!

Yeah. Did I mention I'd been asking God for months for the right car to come along! Months! And all along, He had it worked out to happen at just the right time as to provide a little assurance when doubt started to creep in. He's just wonderful like that. And it's things like that that give me confidence as we're about to leap off a giant cliff of unknowns. He's been faithful, and He will be faithful. 

Which reminds me, I had the same sort of feeling right before saying "I do" and becoming Mrs. Sauder. And Jonathan and I had a good laugh then at this pretty right-on description from a favorite cartoon:

I guess as long as I'm tied to the same tree as Christ, I'll say, 

"Bring it on."

A taste of fall, breathtaking peaks, and lots of thinking.

By way of introduction to this post (and to get it over with!), I'll start with the baby bump photo.  Actually, this photo shoot wasn't planned, so it's not the best angle for showing off Silly Goose, but you get the idea.

Last week, we spontaneously up and drove off to Yosemite, partly because neither of us had ever been, partly because right now we can be spontaneous if we want to and that won't always be the case, and partly because we had a lot to think and talk about and a few days away was just the ticket!

It was a wonderful trip!  We got a taste of fall color and crispness as we took in the spectacular sights!

Cheesy smiles!

This was on our hike walk up to Mirror Lake.

Unfortunately, there was no lake.  Nor were there any waterfalls. Apparently it's been rather dry.

I found a cozy tree.

Here we are posing with Half Dome off in the distance.

We had to go see the dam, of course.

It was the geeky engineer's highlight, I think.

My favorite view of Half Dome (from Glacier Point).

No, we did not hike Half Dome. This time.

And, check that off the bucket list!  I've always wanted to see the giant trees!

This is one they used to drive through, but it's slowly fusing back together, healing itself.

We stayed at a neat little cabin just outside the park.  It was cozy with rustic decor and a sweet little fireplace/heater (confession: we used it to heat up our breakfast the second morning, probably not one of its intended uses!).  Yosemite is definitely all it's made out to be!  We'll for sure be back!  I can see where it would be crowded in the summer, since it was still pretty full.  That said, we did stick to the more "typical" tourist-y type places since I couldn't do much hiking this time.  There were tons of day-long hikes which I'm sure were less crowded!

Enjoying the sights and the crisp autumn air, we cruised all over the park with the top down, talking, planning, wondering, praying.  And even now, a week later, we're still waiting on God with those same questions on our hearts.  Isn't it amazing, all we learn through times of waiting?  Having to be patient and wait for God to move us in whatever direction He chooses, we're discovering all kinds about ourselves.  I love how His divine revelation so often starts with the attitudes and motivations of our own hearts.  His timing is perfect; I have no doubt He'll answer the questions we have about where we should live, where Jonathan should work, but first we'll let Him have His way, teaching us more about who He is and who we are.  

The Job Search

And just like that, a month has gone by. And we are still working and waiting to see what doors God opens up on the job end of things. Jonathan does more of the working part--sending emails, rewording and submitting resume after resume, networking, and researching. We both do the waiting--praying, surrendering, trusting, and praying some more. Meanwhile, other aspects of life continue on.

 Silly Goose keeps growing.

2 more months and he'll be here!

Yup, TWO MONTHS!!

So exciting!

Jonathan and I had our hospital tour a few weeks ago, and our childbirth preparation class is this weekend. Tell you what, it gets more and more real all the time! Especially when the little guys uses my ribs as a playground or scooches his cute little rear end around making my tummy bulge out to one side. What a Silly Goose, right? And what an incredible miracle!

Jonathan had the brilliant idea the other day to stop by Griffieth Observatory on the way home from church (maybe as Silly Goose's arrival gets nearer, there's a sudden motivation to do those things that are more difficult to do with a little one, like sightseeing). 

 It was a beautiful sunset over the sprawling city.

This is me posing for a tourist photo of the Hollywood sign.

Makes me laugh, I look a little wary of the other tourists.

Here we are with the moon rising over the Observatory dome.

Other "normal" life happenings have come to include Steven! Even though he's spent almost more time in New York than here in town since moving out, we've managed to establish some fun routine hang outs--dinners, skyping with the folks back in Roanoke, and he and Jonathan have done some surfing together. 

Last weekend we had a blast watching some cousins perform at their marching band competition. It was quite the show! And the In and Out stop beforehand wasn't bad either--seriously, Silly Goose has created a special affection for their vanilla shakes! The funny thing was how everyone had the same idea--we stopped in (Joe and Sue, Steven, and us), joining Grammy and Tom and Heidi, and before you know it, Tom and Jody popped in too! After burgers it was off to the show!

The band performed a Peter Pan show,

Return to Neverland.

These are special times! Walks on the beach at low tide, spending a few hours trying to rearrange the furniture in our cozy little living room, baking pumpkin-y things because it's fall now, "neighborhood" gatherings that turn into enthusiastic game nights...ordinary things that are oh so special. How do we fully engage and enjoy where we are now? How do we not let the looming unknown rob us of the joy of these moments now? Lots of grace. Lots of reminding each other and being reminded by wise people in our lives. Because really, in the grand scheme of things, this "next step", this whole job search thing, is rather small. It doesn't feel like it, but a healthy dose of eternal perspective forces us to remember that life is short and these present little things are actually really important because they're about relationship and community and growth and, well, lasting, God-glorifying  stuff.

In light of that, hearing today that we have another decision to make, a job opportunity that would transplant our little family in faraway Portland with the challenge of new relationships, different community, more stretching and growth...we ask that you'd pray for us, for that healthy dose of eternal perspective and the eyes to discern where God is leading. Because that's what it comes down to: our Lord knows the plans He has for us, we ask for a glorious revelation!

Nothing Much Happening, Except...

You'd think we'd had a quiet, uneventful month since I obviously haven't had anything profound to post about.

Wrong.

Unless you call three weddings, two trips to Illinois, a baby shower, an extremely inconvenient fiasco, a visit from both sets of parents, and a dissertation defense, nothing.

Where do I start?

To begin with, August was a month full of travel.  After the trips that comprised my last posts, we took two separate trips to Illinois for weddings.  Such is our stage of life, I guess, that we have so many good friends tying the knot!  First up: my dear sweet Sarah, the only roommate I've ever had, fellow Magdalena warrior, and owner of one of the most brilliant smiles!  Also on that trip, Jonathan spent the weekend with some good friends of his from way back.  The Roanoke guys that make up that core group got together to relive their young teen days camping out at a local lake.  Amid the goofing off and fun (too much fun, apparently, as one ended up with a fishhook through his finger), they also reconnected and got serious enough to have some deep conversations and really challenge and sharpen each other spiritually.  Praise God for those kinds of friends!  That same praise welled up in me as I watched Sarah walk down the aisle that weekend.  So much history with that girl--many long talks as we walked around CVE campus, many middle-of-the-night prayer sessions, many battles fought and won, many tears, many laughs and joys too.  Those kinds of relationships run deep, and when our paths cross again, it's such a joy and encouragement!

The next round of weddings wasn't for a few weeks, so home again we went.  After just a short time back at the Beach Cottage, I was headed back to Illinois, this time without Jonathan.  He came the next week, after taking care of some responsibilities at school and also helping host the high school Labor Day weekend get-together in Altadena.  The first weekend in Illinois I watched my kid cousin, Elisabeth, get married.  Also that week, my dear family hosted a baby shower for Silly Goose!  It was such a fun evening with friends and family, and, of course, everyone blessed our little guy with all kinds of great things he'll need when he arrives--fun little outfits, books, toys, diapers!  Then Jonathan and I were reunited and enjoyed some family time before the next weekend's wedding: a childhood friend of Jonathan's.  The big wrinkle in the weekend happened on Saturday.  We spent the day up in Chicago with my family--just enjoying the city, like we used to often when Caleb and Liv still lived up there.  To our horror, when we got back to our vehicles in the evening, someone had broken into my parents' jeep and stolen Jonathan and I's luggage.  Besides losing most of our clothes, the greatest loss was our laptops and my personal Bible.  While it was just belongings, and thankfully nobody was hurt, it was still a frustrating end to an otherwise wonderful day!  Thankfully, I'd forgotten my piano book at my parents' house which would have been a painful loss, and all the baby shower gifts were packed in another suitcase, which wasn't with us in Chicago.  Needless to say, it was a rotten end to our trip.

Back home again!  We were a week into September and facing the stressful few weeks leading up to--drum roll please!--Jonathan's defense!  The climax of 4 and half years of grad school!  Praise the Lord, his dissertation work was all backed up online, so unexpectedly getting a new computer (thanks to the Chicago fiasco) wasn't a problem.  Our kitchen appliances listened intently during practice sessions, and after many long rehearsals and revisions, it was finally the big day!  Both our parents were able to come for the weekend, some uncles, Grammy, and Steven who has just moved out here, rounded out the supporting audience.  The presentation was excellent!  It was the best version I'd heard--and I'd heard it a few times!  There were some tough questions thrown at Jonathan from the panel of professors, but he never let them fluster him.  Even when one was so kind as to point out the spelling mistake on a few of his slides.  Oops, that's my job as editor!  I never caught the "principal" that should have been "principle".  Oh, well, I don't think they held that against him--being an engineer and all!  We waited nervously out in the hall after the defense, curious as to what they were discussing behind the closed door.  Finally, the exciting moment came and the door opened.  Jonathan's research adviser came out and offered his hand, "Congratulations, Dr. Sauder!"  We applauded!  All glory to God--He's the one who gave Jonathan the opportunity and the talent that made getting a PhD possible!  The degree will be officially conferred in December.

 Dr. Jonathan Sauder

"Collaborative Stimulation in Team Design Thinking"

 With the Sauder parents.

 With the Zobrist parents.

So, I guess you could say we've had a rather busy few weeks!  Will life settle down now?  I guess we'll see.  Now full focus is on the job search and enjoying these last few months at the Beach Cottage and before Silly Goose's arrival!  We find ourselves constantly needing to remember God's past faithfulness and take courage as we look to the future, knowing He will provide for us.